The Battle for New Yor….er..Jersey

The Jets/Giants game seems to come around as often as Haley’s Comet. A decent ticket to the game costs more that the street value of Sam Hurd’s stash. The fact that it was on Christmas made it even more epic (thanks NFL schedule makers for pitting friends and family members against each other on Xmas!). As usual, LolaSportsTalk was there.

 

I was driving up from the south and parking passes on stub hub were north of $50, so I made the decision to park at the Secaucus train station and take the train one stop to the game. Down in Atlanta we have been having a pretty ridiculous indian summer. All week people from New York were telling me how nice the weather was, when I pulled up in Secaucus I set a foot out of the car and the frigid wind cut right through my running shoes. It was much colder than I was expecting, or as it is pronounced in the local dialect “Hey! I’m freezing my friggin bwalls off over hea’, can you believe this?!”.

 

The discourse on the concourse was surprisingly civil between Jets and Giants fans. Once aboard the train, these shirtless, painted Giants fans were being loud and obnoxious. You have to remember, this is the Northern version of the Hatfields and McCoys. For 50 years the two teams have shared the city, the last 30 they have shared a stadium. There aren’t any political or geographic or ethnic boundaries, for completely arbitrary reasons, people who live in the same area fall on different sides of this divide. The shirtless gentleman asked me if I was from Queens, I asked why and he said “because you’re a Jets fan, everyone Queens is a Jets fan, I’m like a renegade out there.” Then he took a swig out of his Coca Cola Bottle which I assume had more than just Coke in it.

Here a female Jets fan asks a cop to “please arrest those (shirtless) Giants fans”. Sadly the order fell on deaf ears.

I went over to see The Grfiter and his crew. They presented me with a mason jar of moonshine from West Virginia. They never cease to amaze me with the cool shit they have at their tailgate. Tailgates are like holiday dinners for people who are crazy about football and don’t mind eating dinner outside in the winter.

Most people are embarrassed to be seen wearing Izod these days, how do you think this empty building feels?

Here’s a mixed couple. The guy had nice things to say about the Jets, saying as long as they weren’t playing the Giants that he rooted for them. I couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or simply didn’t want to sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t hate the Giants either, I recently went to one of their games in Arizona to cheer for them (wearing a Jets jersey of course). Overall there was a lot more civility among the fans than I had anticipated.

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Giants fans always point out that they have two more Super Bowl Titles than the Jets, but I like to point out that the Jets are one of the few teams that are undefeated in the Superbowl. It’s not really a point but makes me feel better when I say it.

 

One of the cooler limos I’ve seen. I’m working on getting a Lola Sports Talk limo (preferably my Crown Victoria, stretched) to ride around the country next fall going to NBA and NFL games. Stay tuned.

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“Anyone have tickets? Anyone have tickets?” Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the skateboarding scalper.

At one point in the parking lot my ears were under assault by a Jim Jones Giants-centric remix to his (one and only) hit “We Fly High“. It was God awful.

It’s always nice when the kids are there for beer pong.

A literal tailgate.

 

I brought some Black Label’s to the game with me, its like PBR minus the hipster guilt.

Contrary to popular belief, children aren’t patted down.

Plax was up for the coin toss, it was supposed to be a big deal. A lot of people (Including Rex Ryan) were excited about the signing of Plax, but I just couldn’t be that excited to sign a 34 year old WR who hadn’t played in 2.5 years and had shot himself in the leg since his last NFL catch. Bitterness towards personel moves from the last 3 years will be a running theme in this photo essay.

The Giants offense couldn’t get anything going on their first drive and the Jets breezed right down the field on theirs. Here Plax pulls a “Jeremy Shockey” by celebrating a little too hard after a routine, non scoring catch.

Mark Sanchez finished off the drive with a short pass to the mildly intriguing Josh Baker.

 

The Giants offense was under seige again on their second drive. A Jets fan near me pondered aloud “Hey did we like trade Schotty to the Giants or something?”. Obviously not because the Jets offense was sputtering too.

This guy was some kind of bizarre Favre groupie. I don’t think he fully understands what people in that stadium think of Brett Favre.

One of the few things I had yet to try was the pastrami sandwich from the Jewish Delicatessen by section 146. Similar to the Jets offense, it was disappointing. there was a scant amount of meat and the bread seemed extra cold. I got a knish too, which tasted like it was made with instant potatoes.

I’ve been to a few stadiums recently that had iconic, city specific food items such as Tony Luke’s Cheesesteaks (with sharp provolone!) at Phillies games or Ben’s Chilli Bowl at Redskins games. With the abundance of amazing Jewish delicatessens in the area, it’s almost insulting to fans that MetLife doesn’t reach out to Katz delicatessen or Sarge’s or anyone who makes great food. Even Subway’s NY Hot Pastrami would have been an upgrade. I know Snoopy is the corporate sponsor, but that doesn’t mean you have to serve us all dog food.

The pickle was excellent though.

The Giants offense did eventually get some traction and ventured deep into the red zone before having to settle for a field goal. It made me nervous that the Jets dominated early on and didn’t have much to show for it.

Nice outfit. It’s a football game, not The Standard Hotel on a friday night.

“I’m just going to pull my jersey out of the hamper for the game, I’m sure no one will notice, let alone put it on the internet”.

Then it happened. With the Giants backed up to their own one yard line, Eli completes a part to Victor Cruz who blows by Kyle Wilson and Cromartie for a 99 yard touchdown. Cromartie wraps up on the field about as well as he does in the bedroom. This play blew the game wide open. To put things in comparison, Plax doesn’t have 99 yards total in his last four games combined. Sigh.

Tony Siragusa looks like he’s reprising his role from The 25th Hour.

Nick Folk misses the field goal before half, presumably after being iced by Jason Garrett.

A popular halftime hangout spot at MetLife is the Captain Morgan’s bar. If you don’t get there before halftime begins, you probably won’t get in because the line is cray.

Like the Jets but also like borderline racist bedroom acts? We have the shirt for you.

They’re taking the Snoopy theme pretty far at MetLife.

It was hard to tell in person, but Santonio Holmes seemed a little grumpy and slow getting off the line later in the game. We all remember when the Jets hit a rough patch (turbulence?) earlier in the season and Holmes treated the offensive line like Sergio Ramos treated the Copa del Rey. Let’s all hope he stays a happy camper.

Ahmad Bradshaw scores first in the second half. The Jets haven’t looked decent on offense since the opening drive. Every Jets fan is sick to their stomach and cursing their perceived culprit (Schotty or Sanchez).

The Jets seem to answer with Burress catching this touchdown, but it was called back as Plax pushed off the defender to gain separation. These are the things you have to do when you have the speed of a tectonic plate. Seriously, there are glaciers with better 40 times than Plax.

I didn’t take many photos during the third and fourth quarters, opting instead to sit in my seat and simmer. All the things that were plaguing the Jets now were obvious to most Jets fans for months. Before and after this game, much was made of Rex’s habit of talking big and how it ultimately impacts the team negatively. I’m more concerned with his personel decisions. If you aren’t interested in a long rant on the Jets player moves over the last few years, just skip this part.

Almost three years prior, the Jets had the best young team in football. They had drafted two players who are the best at their positions in football (Revis and Mangold) and other Pro Bowlers (Harris and Ferguson). Since Rex came on board the picks have ranged from Jury’s Still Out (Sanchez), to Questionable (Greene), to Vanity Pick (Connor), to Looks Like a Bust (Kyle Wilson), to Maybe The Worst Football Player Ever And Is The Centerpiece Of Jets Draft Day Blunders Volume 2 on Youtube (Vlad Ducasse).

The 2010 draft was especially troubling as the entire draft was essentially a whiff. You remember Kyle Wilson from a few photos ago, being beaten for that 99 yard touchdown pass. If you really want to know how the Jets feel about him, look back to this summer, when Cromartie was a a free agent and the Jets were courting Nnamdi, it was never suggested by anyone, at any time that the Jets just stand pat with Wilson at the spot. Usually if a team is in that situation and had used a first rounder on a CB the year before they at least think about it, the silence was deafening. Then there was Vlad Ducasse, who plays about as good as he looks (the Jets made fun of his appearance on Hard Knocks so I can too). The team has tried him at both guard and tackle and the results have been horrific. To save face, they now sneak him on the field as an extra tight end, just so when the D lineman blows by him, at least there is a longer path to Sanchez. Pretty soon Schotty is going to line him up at WR in a formation called the “JumboCat” and we are supposed to think it is innovative. Overall since Rex has been on board, the Jets have used a 3rd, two 4ths and a 5th round pick on running backs while trading away Leon Washington and cutting Danny Woodhead. Ugly.

The Free agency moves the Jets have made have been pretty bad. It started with Bart Scott, who has played well as a Jet and gave probably the greatest post game interview ever. With that said the Jets have $17 mil a year tied up in our two inside linebackers, an unweildly amount for one of the worst paid positions in the game. Then we embarked on a series of washed up veterans (Taylor, Tomlinson, Plax) who have actually blocked the development of younger players who are better than them anyway (McKnight, Braylon Edwards). McKnight playing behind Tomlinson is especially troubling for me because the Jets offense has literally no explosion, no home run threat, it just dinks and dunks around the field before stalling out. McKnight was leading the league in kick returns and in the two games where he got the most touches for the Jets, he didn’t get less than 121 total yards in either. Shonn Greene has only reached that mark twice in 41 more games.

I hated how they dealt with Darrelle Revis last year, nickle and diming him in a game of chicken that cost the Jets the first half of Revis season. This year they turn around and try to woo Nnamdi and offer him more money that Revis. This is for a player who never played a down for the Jets, who never dropped a bead of sweat on the Jets practice field. I’m sure this irony wasn’t lost on Revis (who can’t be franchised next time he hits the free agent market, gulp) and his teammates. The only younger player that Rex did supplant a veteran with was Wayne Hunter, who is maybe the worst right tackle in the league. It’s like if Adrian Clarke had a younger brother who played right tackle. This is especially maddening when many established yet disgruntled tackles have been available this off season for roughly nothing (Bryant McKinney and Jared Gaither come to mind)

I’m also at a loss for words to describe Rex’s inexplicable hatred for pass rushers. He drafted 8 QB/WR/RB’s but has yet to draft a pass rusher. The Jets didn’t sign a pass rusher either. Remember Jason Babin, who had 4 sacks of Sanchez two weeks ago? He was a free agent. Remember when the Jets “lost a bidding war” with the Chargers (maybe the most frugal team in the NFL) over Antwan Barnes, who signed a two year, 3.2 million dollar deal? He has 11 sacks. I would like to give the Jets credit for taking a chance on Maybin, but they cut him too, resigning him only after Bryan Thomas was injured, shows how much they thought of him. My explanation for the passing on pass rushers is that Rex is vain enough that he believes he can consistently scheme pressure. I was watching Kurt Warner on TV the other day and he was asked if he preferred teams to blitz or drop 7, he said blitz because it creates opportunities. I’m not the son of a Hall of Fame coach, but I can take a hint from what Kurt said. Couple that with fresh memories of Eric Smith trying to set the edge on Tim Tebow and Antonio Cromartie trying to make game saving tackles one on one and I get the impression that rushing four from time to time wouldn’t be the worst idea.

And I haven’t even brought up Brian Schottenheimer yet. He  is the most despised Jets O Coordinator since Paul Hackett, which is saying a ton. Fans all have different reasons why they hate him, but they all do, and the proof is in the pudding as the weekly NFL Defensive player of the Week Award has been won four times this year by a player who had just played the Jets. Maybe Rex has a soft spot in his heart for beneficiaries of of nepotism, but the organizations offseason decision to bring in Tom Moore to “help the offense” shows that he may already be on thin ice. I can only hope.

All this swirled around my head as I sat there, I had enough. There was roughly 8 minutes left, I said goodbye to my friends and joined the green stream heading towards the exit.

I didn’t leave the stadium, I just staggered around like Basquiat in the movie after Andy Warhol died. I watched random plays on TV’s until I composed myself and settled in to a different seat elsewhere so that I would be spared seeing the anguish on my friends faces. This wasn’t just a normal game, that stakes had tacitly been set: the fans of the winning team get bragging right multiple years until the next game and Brandon Jacobs will brag for the rest of his natural life. This was all unfolding in front of Giants fans, the same people that say “what are you thinking? why are you a Jets fan” to us every day already. They needs more ammunition like the Kardashians need another TV show.

My heart truly goes out to this guy. If you’re a New York sports fan and your team’s name ends in ‘ets, you’re a member of the Tri State Trinity of Sports Misfortune (had to find a nicer word that loserdom). Lets check in how the other two members are doing:

The Mets: They are the brokest sports team you could ever imagine. Just lost their 28 year old best player to a division rival. Have a new stadium that no one goes to and is patrolled by the 2011 version of “The Hound of Baskervilles”.

The Nets: Were front runners to land Dwight Howard until their trading chip (and second best player) broke his foot in, you guessed it, a preseason game with the Knicks. Now the Nets are hoping to still resign point guard/World Champion Dallas Mavericks fan Deron Williams, who will be a free agent at season’s end. Then the Nets will have to compete with, you guessed it, the Dallas Mavericks and their oodles of cap space, for his services. The Nets have a great owner Mikhail Prokorov, unfortunately Mr. Prokorov has taken on the kamikaze task of running against Vladimir Putin for President of Russia. Whether he will be radiation poisoned or arrested on trumped up financial crimes and brought to trial like Hannibal Lechter has yet to be decided, but one thing is sure, he won’t be running the Nets much longer.

So there you have it, the State of the ‘ets, sounds like a good time, huh?

After a couple of saves by the Tuck Rule (I still think all Tuck Rule balls are fumbles!) and Hakeem Nicks initiating a tip drill, the Jets were back in the game, down 13 and driving. As you can see Mark Sanchez is still ignoring Joe Girardi’s sliding lessons.

On the goal line the Jets executed a flawless play action bootleg which Sanchez was able to run in himself. This was Mark’s 6th rushing touchdown of the year, 5 more than Michael Vick.

With the Giants trying to get a first down, they ran a play where Brandon Jacobs ran parallel to the line. I have no idea why that play is in the Giant playbook but they need to throw it out.

And like that, the tides had turned, the Jets were getting the ball back, down 6. Was it time for more 4th Quarter Sanchez Magic?!

Nope, Sanchez was ruled “in the grasp” in the end zone before comically completing a pass to left tackle D’Brickashaw Ferguson. This was followed but an onside free kick (interesting to see) and Ahmad Bradshaw helping his fantasy owners in the fantasy finals.

I don’t know who’s idea it is to hand out these white towels to wave at game. “Waving the white flag” and “Throwing in the towel have negative connotations and what fans are doing with these towels could be construed as both.

This was the saddest Santa and Elf I have ever seen. The Elf’s breathing was labored, his anguish was undeniable.

No, thank you, for fucking up the team with botched personel moves over the last 2+ years.

As I was wallowing in self pity in the parking lot I saw Eric LeGrand. Here I was in despair over football and this man can’t move his limbs. It really put things in perspective and made me realize that football is secondary in comparison to my own well being and that of the people I love. It’s a shame that it took an accident as tragic as Eric’s to make me realize this.

After the game I joined the throng of fans from both sides that were herded towards the Secaucus bound train. A helicopter hovered over head and someone yelled “Hey look, its Chris Christie, stop using helicopters to go to games, Look he’s so fat it can barely stay in the air”. A lot of people laughed because New Jersey Christies tendencies to take state owned helicopters to games and to be fat.

This cop’s haircut was the talk of the train line. And not in a good way.

And That was the worst game I have ever been to in my life. Though this made me feel a little better:

 

I dedicate this photo essay and my life basically to my best friend Ian McCabe who died December 7th. Low as he was better know as was a great man and without his influence and support I doubt you would be looking this photo essay today. I’m extremely lucky to have friends with him for 21 years and the World is a worse off place without him.

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